Last week I wrote to “Valentine in the Morning,” pitching in my own thoughts on the question “should you wait until marriage to have sex?”
That post has garnered several comments from readers, but no response from Valentine…still waiting.
I really appreciate the comments you all have offered. I really think Neil hit it straight on regarding the “bike” illustration: owning more than one bike isn’t a big deal (and is even necessary sometimes!) and no one will blink if you discard your Huffy for an upgrade, but would we be ok with it if our spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend looked at us like that? If we’d be hurt if someone looked upon us as a tool or object, why do we suddenly rationalize it when we think of our “loved ones” like that?
Can we even call our loved one a loved one if we are test driving them?
What if Valentine’s daughter (assuming he has a daughter of dating age…I’m not sure if he does) brought home a strapping young man, and Valentine overheard him saying to a friend on the phone, “yeah, right now I’m just testing her out to see how she is in the sack. Hey, it’s what I gotta do. Can’t buy a car without test driving it first, right?”
I bet he’d be livid. This brings up Matt’s point: golden rule, baby…golden rule.
Your Every Day Christian is right too: if you’ve saved yourself for marriage, your wife is the best you’ve ever had. Mark Driscoll tells a similar story of a friend who was debating the sex before marriage question in a secular philosophy 101 class. The friend was a virgin and vowed he would not kiss his girlfriend until they met at the altar. The other students were incredulous.
One young man in the back, a frat boy (it always has to be some smart aleck frat boy, right?), replied, “but how will you know if she’s any good?” Driscoll’s friend replied, “If I’m a virgin, how will I know if she’s bad? I won’t. She’ll be the best I’ve ever had.”
That’s great. Look, if I were Valentine, I wouldn’t worry about that question. One of the many benefits of waiting for marriage to have sex is that you have a lifetime to figure it out in a context of trust and safety. Seriously, you’ll be alright.
And on the attraction question: guys, it doesn’t matter if she’s not a minx. She’s a naked woman. You won’t have to worry about losing your sex drive.
Check out the following related posts:
Wait for True Love (this one’s not what you think, trust me)
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